Leaning in

When I was a kid, I loved to play soccer. All year long I played on any and every team I could get a spot on. Some seasons were great and some were, well, not as great. Because of where my birthday falls (which happened to be last week if you forgot to say Happy Birthday) I often had to move up into the older age bracket before most of my friends, which was always intimidating because I was almost always the smallest kid on the team. One season in particular, just as we were moving into junior high, I had to move up to a team of older kids and I barely knew anyone. The coach didn’t know me, except that I was the shrimpy kid who stood about a foot shorter than everyone else on the team. ”You’re going to play fullback (defense),” he told me. Ummm, no I’m not, I thought to myself. I always played forward. I ran fast and scored goals. That’s what I loved. I didn’t want to play defense. I actually almost quit soccer that season because I was so frustrated trying to learn something new. Thankfully I didn’t though, and as the season clicked by something happened. I discovered that I actually enjoyed my new-found position, and chose to continue there for the rest of my soccer-playing life.

As the year comes to an end, I always like to reflect back on the last trip around the sun and remember what I learned and set goals for the months ahead. To be honest, this past year has been amazing but I’ve also had previous years that were an absolute disaster. Life definitely has a way of punching you in the gut sometimes when things don’t go how we expected. Either through circumstances beyond our control, or often due to our own frail humanity, we can sometimes find ourselves frustrated, defeated, and ready to give up. In those times, we have a choice to either run from the struggle or, if we can find the will to do it, we can lean into the challenge and discover something courageous inside that was previously hidden away in fear. This is our opportunity to learn and find new joy.

To accept one’s past- one’s history- is not the same thing as drowning in it; it is learning to use it.

James Baldwin

Can I offer you a word of encouragement as this year comes to a close? I offer the same to my own soul that wrestles through these things on a daily basis. Lean into the struggle. Accept your history so you can learn from it. Don’t live in cowardly fear running from the pain of your failures or the difficult circumstances you may be facing today. Tell yourself a better story of redemption, love, and compassion toward yourself and others, and find joy in your life. Each breath is a gift. Every beautiful soul that crosses your path is an opportunity to love, to accept, and to discover something new about yourself as well. Like the sunrise of a brand new day, this next year will bring both healing and pain, blessing and loss, smiles and tears, and all of it, every last moment and breath of your life is an opportunity for faith, hope, and love to grow in you. Embrace your story, learn from it, and don’t give up.