Who is my neighbor?

If you were fortunate enough like I was, you grew up with the simple and profound warmth of Mister Rogers’ neighborhood. Slowly and predictably he would slip into his house shoes and signature button up sweater, look straight into the living rooms across America, and drop truth bombs about knowing your identity, loving your neighbor, showing kindness, exercising patience, and extending forgiveness. I think I’ve been longing for that idyllic neighborhood for decades now, like on Cheers where “everybody knows your name” (speaking of shows I grew up on), where community happens as neighbors get to know each other, work through their humanity together, and grow in love and acceptance for all. Wouldn’t that be nice? Can you even imagine living in a world like that today? Maybe that’s exactly what we need to do….imagine something different, something better, a new future.

Perhaps in order to shape a vision for the future, a good place to start is by remembering the past. Looking back, before the foundations of American politics, capitalistic economics, or even the brokenness of our human experience, there was a community that existed in a harmonious vibe that we can learn from. On the sixth day of creation after God spoke the world into existence, he said, “Let US make mankind in OUR image”. Male and Female, both made in the image of God, the community of God that we refer to as the trinity. This God community was complete with all the “masculine” and “feminine” aspects of humanity all perfectly represented in a complete God, working together to call everything into existence. Nothing became something. Nowhere became somewhere. Nobody became somebody, and that’s where we start with our own identity. God calls you somebody. Our faith is birthed through the words of God, “he who created you….he who formed you….Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are mine”. While we are all searching for someplace to belong, God says we belong with him, not as his possession but as his beloved. Let that settle into your soul. Before we move on to trying to love our neighbor, build a community, or create a vision for better future, we have to start here, and let all the other plans and vision and goodness flow from this.

The unfortunate reality here is that we never “get it”. If we wait until our faith is perfect, our lives are flawless, and our society is humming along like the trolley in Mister Rogers’ neighborhood before we take action to love our neighbor individually or fight for systemic justice in our communities, it will never happen. So what are we to do? Well, I don’t have the answer for all the complicated issues we face, but I do think there is a litmus test we can apply as we wrestle through them. First, I remember my own identity and humanity. In humility, I look at these issues through a lens of love knowing that God created earth, the creatures, and every human being that inhabits the planet. If I forget that, my perspective will be off. Secondly, as a created being I prioritize the words of the creator to form his perspective in me. Jesus was asked, “What is the greatest commandment?” His answer was simple. Love God and love people. If my agenda isn’t based in the love of God and love for people, I’m missing the whole point. I’ve heard it said, “if your faith causes you to hate anyone, you’re doing it wrong”. Is there anyone I’m not loving because I think my faith won’t allow me to love “those” people? If so, it’s time to reevaluate.

So then, from this foundation of our identity in God and our mandate to love our neighbor, now we look around and ask, “So, who is my neighbor?”. Think of the people generally disdained by your circle of influence. Who comes to mind? “Those” people are your neighbors. Where there is a great divide in your beliefs, love becomes the bridge of unity. Love conquers all. All, not some, not most. ALL. So I struggle through the reality that it might not always be comfortable or easy, but our highest call from God is to love, and let that love conquer all hate, division, judgement, and pride.

Therefore, love your neighbor; your evangelical, LGBTQ+, liberal, addict, immigrant, nationalistic, BIPOC, ___________ (fill in the blank) neighbor. I don’t know what that looks like for you personally. Honestly, I’m just trying to figure that out for myself as well. So, we show each other some grace and patience. We recognize that each of us is struggling through our own issues that nobody else can see, and we all need each other. As Mother Teresa said, “We belong to each other”. This is community. This is how we make Mister Rogers’ neighborhood our neighborhood. Here is where we find identity and belonging, love and acceptance. Love God with all your heart, mind, and strength, and love your neighbor as yourself. Won’t you be my neighbor?

In the shadows

Deep in the dark, lurking behind me at every scared step, shadows fall and bring painful memories and accusations. Inescapable and unrelenting. My shadow continues to creep up on me every time I think I’ve shaken it off, tapping me on the shoulder to remind me of brokenness and failure. It looks like me, like a reflection in broken glass, cracked and backwards, yet I know deep down it’s me. At least, it’s kind of me. It’s the part of me I’ve tried to leave behind, the portion of my soul that doesn’t feel authentic but in my moments of gut honesty, I know it’s real. Maybe I’m not meant to leave it behind after all, but hold it close in reverence and fear reminding me not to turn back. Even still, I don’t like it.

We all have them. Call it your demon, your addiction, your weakness, your failure, or whatever. It shows up disguised with many different aliases, all equally destructive and terrible, and ……beautiful. Ugh! Even writing that is painful. Can I actually say that my greatest failure is beautiful? It’s a monster. It’s hideous. It’s a noose that gripped my throat and nearly drowned me in the hell of my own depravity. Beautiful? That feels blasphemous and yet, the scars that remain are creating in me a new perspective. Without the wounds I wouldn’t have the scars that tell the story of healing. If I didn’t feel the burn in my lungs as I was being dragged down to the depths, I couldn’t fully appreciate the freshness of life-giving oxygen, at least not in the same way.

Can you relate? Are there things in your past you regret? Did you hurt someone you love? Turn your back on friend? Denied all that was good and true and right in your soul to pursue something destructive in hope that it would somehow soothe or at least distract from your deepest pain or fear? Looking these shadows in the face, we can embrace them because of the lessons we learned from them. Shame wants to hide, pretending these shadows don’t exist. It’s like a blanket that feels comfortable and secure but is slowly suffocating the life out of you. We try to forget and move on and yet, these shadows remain, insidious and more powerful when their hidden.

So I refocus my attention to the shadow that haunts me and I quit trying to run from it. Embracing the beauty of the scars left behind, I shift my eyes off myself and thank God he didn’t give up on me when I had given up on myself. I am thankful for the lessons I learned, even though I had to learn them the hard way. I don’t want to pretend those shadows don’t exist because they drive me further into God’s grace, understanding my own weakness and need. I certainly don’t have this all dialed in. I’m learning, struggling, and growing in this, and slowly beginning to feel the oxygen return to my lungs, to breath in deep, and see the light enter the darkness and reveal the deeper truth about who I am, what I was created for, and how I fit into this crazy world. There is great freedom found here, so if you’re entangled in your shadows, struggling to look honestly at yourself, your past, your struggles, etc, let me encourage you to sit with it. Look at it. Be honest and bring it to God. He’s not afraid of your mess. In fact, that’s exactly why Jesus came into this world, to bring sight to the blind, freedom to captives, and love for the brokenhearted. That’s good news for us all.

Defining Greatness

Who doesn’t want to be great? Whether in sports, business, art, or whatever, humans seem to have an internal drive for greatness. We see it played out globally every couple years in the Olympics, World Cup, Super Bowl, multi-billion dollar business mergers, and military displays of power. This got me thinking, what exactly is “greatness”? Someone can be a great athlete but a horrible father. You might see an outstanding, shrewd businessman who is emotionally absent and verbally abusive to his wife at home. And, as we see playing out currently around the world, great military power being abused for selfish gain, oppression, and genocide. Therefore greatness as a quality is more nuanced and needs a bit more definition.

Who has been “great” in your life? Most people have either a parent or grandparent, teacher, coach, or friend who has been great for them. Perhaps they have modeled kindness to you, going out of their way to show you love and patience. Maybe they have spoken words of encouragement and affirmation into your life when you needed it the most. If nothing else, they’ve just been there for you, listening and supporting you in the struggles that life sends your way. Whatever it is, think about who has really been “great” in your life. Whether you are a follower of Jesus or not, his words ring true about what defines greatness. When he was asked about what makes a man great, his answer likely resonates in your own heart as well. He explained greatness using terms like humility, being concerned with others first, showing kindness, and not abusing your power or “rights” to oppress others but lifting them up. Is this what we see in the world today? Are these the defining qualities being lifted up to make America great?

I want to be one who loves in humility and kindness. I want my life to be a refuge for my family where they feel safe, seen, and loved. I want my greatness to be defined by what truly feels great to my soul, not by wealth, status, success, or any other superficial measure. How about you? When we talk of being great as a nation, we have to start as individuals. If Americans strive to be great by loving our neighbors, welcoming and caring for the oppressed, choosing kindness over hatred and generosity over greed, that is what will make America great, and the same goes for every other nation as well. We’re no better or worse just because we live in America. This is a common thread of humanity that weaves it’s way across the globe. So yes, let’s make America great. Let’s make Mexico and Canada great. Let’s make Ukraine and Russia, Israel and Palestine, and every other nation great, and it starts individually. Love your neighbor. Choose kindness. Be generous. Extend welcome. Make peace. These will create a great life for you, bring greatness to others, and lead to greatness in our nation and throughout the world.

Peacemakers

I settle into my seat with noise canceling headphones pumping lyrical inspiration into my brain and a quad-shot latte at my side. I’m ready to write….but what do I say? How do I say this? My usual method of writing is pretty free-flowing. I don’t plan it out ahead of time and I don’t typically edit it after it comes out. It flows from my soul and just puts words to what is currently boiling under the surface of my mind and spills out onto the page. But today….today is different. I’m struggling for words. I don’t want to offend or overstep. I’m a Type 9 on the Enneagram, a Peacemaker, but I find myself preserving a false peace by keeping silent. Images haunt me this morning of a 1 month old infant pulled from the rubble in Gaza after her parents and brother were killed by Israeli airstrikes. Hundreds of civilians killed in resumed military conflict, with an estimated 40% of casualties being women and children. In Ukraine and Russia, fighting and drone attacks from both sides continue to plague the land with fear and hatred. Throughout the world and right here at home as well, where millions of humans, created in the image of the Divine, live in fear and oppression labeled as “illegal”, “criminals”, or worse simply for crossing the border without proper documentation which is nearly impossible to obtain. Do people deserve death because they are Palestinian? Do they deserve to be imprisoned and labeled as a terrorist because they are Venezuelan? If our response to any of these issues is, “they deserve it”, we need to take a moment to look in the mirror and have a right perspective of ourselves.

America, created by invading the land of indigenous tribes, built on the backs of enslaved human beings, “civilized” millions through colonization and oppression, and has a strategy of enforcing peace through superior firepower, which is really just a false sense of peace. In fact, these words from Jack Johnson seem like a pretty good motto for American foreign (and domestic) policy, “Who needs peace when we’ve got guns?” I’m asking you, and asking myself, honestly, is this the world we want to live in? Is this the way Jesus lived and taught us to live? In the gospel of Matthew, we have a record of Jesus’ words in his greatest sermon ever given, his Magnum Opus. If it’s been a while since you’ve read it, I’d recommend reading through it and see if His words line up with the image of Christianity being portrayed to the world today. Here is a Cliff’s Notes version:

Blessed are the poor in spirit...
Blessed are those who mourn...
Blessed are the meek...
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness...
Blessed are the merciful...
Blessed are the pure in heart...
Blessed are the peacemakers...etc etc

Peacemakers. This is the one that jumps off the page for me right now. Are we making peace? Are we fighting for peace to reign in our homes, in our churches, in our communities, our nation, our world? As a follower of Jesus, this isn’t really just a suggestion but a mandate. Love thy neighbor isn’t just a good idea or something to consider only when it’s comfortable or fits in with our personal biases and it’s not really possible to love your neighbor without being a peace with them. Unfortunately there is evil in the world and I’m not ignorant to that fact, but honestly aren’t we all just a little bit monster? Our highest elected officials lie, cheat, steal, wage war, and sow discord, and why wouldn’t they? After all, we elected them and that’s what we do as well. We need to be wise, yes, but our greatest and highest calling and command is not to be wise, but to love. If loving our neighbor gets sacrificed on the altar of being wise, we may as well be driving the stakes into the heart of the gospel itself. Jesus’ stated purpose in life is this: Love God and Love thy neighbor. Anything else that gets in the way of that is contrary to Christ. No government, no war, no philosophy, no policy, or personal preference.

In case you can’t tell, this is weighing heavy on me right now. I apologize for strong words that may be offensive or even feel unfair to certain people, but I ask that you would hear my heart in this. Regardless of your nationality, religious belief, political affiliation, or any other potentially divisive factor, please know that true peace is my goal in writing. I don’t want to sow division, except to “rightly divide the word of truth”, and the truth is this: God said to love him, love our neighbors, and be at peace. Exactly what that looks like in your life may be different than mine, and that’s where we all have freedom to wrestle through these issues with God on our own. But let’s learn to love each other better. Let’s live in a way that brings good news to the poor, freedom to the captive, and liberty to the oppressed. Let’s fight to be peacemakers.

In Peace and Love, Paz y Amor, Paix et Amour, in every language to all people

Building bridges

I’m not gonna lie, I don’t understand the reasoning behind the name change to “Gulf of America”. Doesn’t make sense to me, but perhaps Shakespeare is correct, “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose, by any other name would smell as sweet.” What is more striking to me beyond just changing a name, is to consider what has happened and is happening in our great nation. Vast divides between social and economic classes, political ideologies, race, gender, and every other factor imaginable are a plague that infects us with ever-widening gulfs of separation. Deep distrust and disdain have become embedded in our differences and seem to be rapidly tearing us apart. There is indeed a gulf in America today, and I’m convinced that each of us is a brick that can be used for one of two different things: Building bridges or building walls.

Bridges and walls. The same raw materials can be used to build both. Steel, wood, bricks, cement, etc., but the purposes they serve are like oil and water. They’re not only different, they just don’t mix no matter how hard you try. Bridges bring people together; walls separate. Bridges connect; walls divide. Bridges provide freedom and inclusion, while walls exclude and oppress. I wrote recently in another post The wall about the anniversary of the Berlin wall coming down and how we build our own walls in life that keep others out and protect us from being honest and vulnerable with people. I think in both cases, whether it be a physical wall of separation or emotional walls of isolation the driving factor (not always, but often) is fear. Fear hijacks our primal instinct for self-preservation, and lays a foundation brick by brick, to keep “them” out and hide myself away in safety. It’s the fear of the unknown. Propaganda (http://www.prophiphop.com) says in his song Cynical, “we fear what we’re blind to”. I think that’s very true.

Whether you’re talking about gaps between nations or neighbors, if we take the time to truly get to know each other we will find that there is a common thread of humanity that runs through us all. The “us vs. them” mentality goes away when we view one another through a lens of loving our neighbor, and I think when it all boils down, that is where we find the answer to so much that is wrong in the world today. When asked what is the greatest commandment of all, Jesus said there were two that are equal…..Love God and love your neighbor. To me, these seem to be mutually dependent. Meaning, you can’t truly have one without the other. As a matter of fact, John, one of Jesus’ closest friends and followers said, “If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen.” That seems pretty straightforward to me. Loving God and loving others are inseparably bound together making one impossible without the other.

When we consider the issues of the day, whether it be global, national, local, or in our own homes, remember that on the other side of the issue stand human beings, made in the Imago Dei (image of God), worthy of love and respect. The way that we love (or don’t love) them is direct evidence of our love for God. It doesn’t matter which side of the political aisle feels more comfortable to you or which injustice happens to stir up your own anger. The choice is whether we bring division, building walls of separation, exclusion, and isolation, or we build bridges to work toward peace and unity. I’ll be the first to admit this is sometimes a huge internal struggle for me, but when I look at the life of Christ I’m convinced this is the way he showed us to live. Here are a few questions to consider:

-Who is someone that you have been viewing as a problem to fix rather than a person to love?

-How can you proactively reach out to get to know someone “different” than you rather than making generalized assumptions about them?

-What is an area in your life where you’ve been building walls and you can start building bridges instead?

Drop a comment and let me know your thoughts on this post or any of the specific questions. I’d love to hear any feedback on this, whether you agree with me or not. Honest and respectful conversation is one way we can build bridges and learn to see things from another person’s perspective.