Goodness is relative

“I’m good enough, I’m smart, and doggone it, people like me.” Maybe if you grew up watching SNL like I did, you recognize this daily affirmation from Stuart Smalley. That was back in the days of Dana Carvey’s “Massive Headwound Harry”, Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey, and Chris Farley living in a van down by the river. Stuart Smalley was an interesting character, as I’m not really sure if he was supposed to be a mental health counselor or the patient. Maybe, like all of us, in some ways he was both. His signature line and personal mantra is what sticks with me, “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me”. It makes me think, how good is good enough? Good enough for what? Good compared to who?

Goodness, like other qualities that we judge in ourselves and in others, is relative to what it’s being put up against. You may say to your wife or friend, “That’s a pretty sweater”, but if it’s seen with a magnificent backdrop of a colorful sunset, suddenly the sweater isn’t as beautiful compared to the brilliant skyline. In a similar (but opposite) way, a love song by Adele or Ed Sheeran can be captivating, but it pales in comparison to the first time you hear the words “I love you Daddy” from your baby girl or boy. I absolutely love music and a good song can touch our hearts deeply, but still today after thirty years, the words “I love you Daddy” penetrate my soul like no song ever could. Beauty is relative. Strength is relative. Goodness is relative.

So when I boil everything down in my life, the days I was killing it and the days I blew it, the times I lived with integrity and the moments I lied to myself and others, all of it, if I’m honest I know I’m not good enough. Maybe if I compare myself to that guy or those people, I can fool myself into believing I’m good and they aren’t. But, goodness is relative, so in order to be good enough I have to compare myself with what is good, not with what is bad. Taking this a step further, when I consider the fact that “God alone is good”, well then I would have to compare myself to God rather than to my neighbor to determine whether or not I’m truly “good”. Through that lens, it becomes painfully obvious that I am in fact not good enough. And dare I say, neither are you.

But. I love it when there is a “but”. God himself, the one who is good tells us that we are good and that we are enough. Not because of what you or I do but simply because he loved us and gave himself for us. So stop trying to be good enough. You already are. Stop striving to achieve perfection, because A) You never will, and B) You are already enough. Isn’t that crazy!?! You, me, all of us. Republicans, Democrats, and Independents. American, African, LatinX, Asian…..we’re all beautifully and wonderfully made in the image of God and declared to be enough. We can stop competing with each other trying to prove who is better, smarter, or more enlightened. Mother Teresa said, “If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other”. Rather than comparing my own goodness with those around me, I can see that we are all equal in the eyes of God. We belong to him, and we belong to each other. This is where we will find peace in the world and peace in our souls that we are all searching for. You, my friend, are loved. You are enough. You are good.