What do you say?

It’s hard to call myself a writer. I don’t know why exactly. I guess something in me feels inadequate, like a poser trying to be something I’m not. At least, that’s what the voice in my head likes to tell me. It’s amazing how sometimes the words we speak to ourselves cut the deepest and take the longest to heal. Consider where those words come from though. Are we born with an innate sense of failure? Were we created to live in constant fear that we are either too much or not enough? Not good enough, smart enough, thin enough, or pretty enough? Too loud, too quiet, too passionate, too lazy? We all have a different story, so I don’t want to generalize this too much, but I think it’s quite common that the internal voices of self-doubt are simply parroting what we’ve heard spoken to us. In short, whether hearing these degrading voices from within or without, the fact is that words are powerful. They tend to reverberate in our soul as a means to either build us up or tear us down. The bible goes so far as to say that the power of life and death is in the tongue. Words matter. What we say to ourselves and to others matters. It’s actually a matter of life and death.

So I ask myself and I ask you, “what kind of words are you speaking, both to yourself and to others?” We live in a greatly divided society driven by “information” that is curated for us based on our own biases. We typically surround ourselves with people who are generally similar to us; same interests, socio-economic status, affiliations, etc. It’s no wonder that it becomes so easy for us to dehumanize those on the other side of issues and begin to use divisive and hurtful language toward each other. It doesn’t really even appear to matter what the issue is. You see it in everything from politics and religion to sports and fashion. We’re right, they’re wrong. I’m informed, you’re ignorant. We are sophisticated, they are simple. We belong, they don’t. If we can take a step back for a moment and consider the way we view and talk about other people, my suspicion is that we would find that it’s really quite ugly and hurtful. In this, we need to do better. We need to stop viewing everyone as enemies just because they may disagree with us on one issue or another. So, how can we do that?

This brings me to the second part of the question, which is, what kind of words are you speaking to yourself? I think that often the reason we attack others is because we feel insecure in ourselves, or we feel anxious and fearful about their position that we disagree with. If I spend my energy speaking positively to myself, I wonder what kind of an impact that would have on how I view and speak to others. If I feel confident in my worth as a human, would I be so dogmatic to try to prove the value of my opinions? If I speak words of love and compassion into my own soul, do you think maybe I’d have more love and compassion to give out? Again, I don’t want to oversimplify the self-preserving nature of the human psyche. However, when I feel safe, I can provide safety to others. If I feel loved, it’s easier to love. When I am given the freedom to have my own thoughts and opinions, I can also give others space to have theirs as well. We don’t have to agree on everything. We have autonomy as humans to think, to learn, and to grow, and it’s our responsibility to do that with love, gratitude, and wisdom. In the same way, we have a responsibility to speak as well, not in divisive criticism, but in love. Not out of selfish motive, but with gratitude. And not in foolishness, but with wisdom.

I hope I’m growing in this, as I am definitely a work in progress. But the more I remind myself that I am loved, the easier it is to love. So, I’m ok with who I am. I’m content and confident to just be me, and let you be you. And hopefully we can remember that we’re all in this together, so let’s speak words of peace and healing to ourselves and each other. One love can make a difference. One voice can ,change a life. How will we choose to use our words today?