Green, Type 9, INFP

When I was in nursing school, our instructors thought it would be a great idea to divide the class up for a discussion. Self-identified introverts on the right side of the classroom, extroverts on the left. Still to this day, I’m not really sure what the purpose of that was but one thing is for certain; the class was more than just divided logistically. It was divided deeply, on an almost spiritual level that brought out the worst of both sides. It went something like this: “If you guys would just speak up once in a while, then maybe….” followed by: “We would if you guys would just stop talking for a …….” Well, you get the idea. It got ugly real quick and honestly I don’t think the cohort was ever really the same after that.

My wife and I were discussing the ideas of introverted/extroverted, personality types, etc., which is actually fascinating to me and can be quite beneficial to understand yourself (both your strengths and weaknesses), as well as to understand those you have relationship with. There is real value in learning what makes you tick and what ticks you off and why. In case nobody has told you this in a while, you are unique and valuable. We need you in this world to show up, fully alive, and bring your authentic thoughts, voice, and being into community. You also share certain of those qualities with a subsection of other humans walking the planet. There are currently 8.1+ billion people in the world. That is 8.1 billion examples of trend and similarity, as well as uniqueness and nuance.

The truth is, you are quite complicated. Regardless of Myers-Briggs or Enneagram type, as helpful as those things can be, there are parts of us that just can’t be squeezed into a box of normalcy. What people may label as “introverted”, may actually just be fear as a result of past trauma, or cowardly hiding in the shadows to avoid the exposure of their own issues. Or the “extrovert” you know who is always the loudest and life of the party could simply be covering up their own insecurity, afraid to face the reality of their struggles so they surround themselves with people all the time to avoid the introspection of solitude. I don’t think this takes anything away from these personality tools, but adds to them. I recognize that behind every Type 7 ENFP, there is a human that has a story and needs to be loved. There is pain that needs to be acknowledged and wounds that need to be healed.

If you’ve never explored these personality tools (Myers-Briggs, Enneagram, etc), I would recommend that you check them out. They can be helpful to learn more about yourself and understand your preferences and tendencies. Then, look beyond those as well, to see how your own story has affected you. This is the great question of “Nature vs. Nurture”. I think the answer lies somewhere in the middle, between how you were made and what you’ve experienced. The short simple answer is that we all need to be loved and accepted as we are but that doesn’t mean we should stay that way, though. We grow, we learn, we change, and evolve. So as you give others the space to discover who they were created to be and how life has affected them, give yourself that same space as well. Out of 8.1 billion souls, there is only one you, and we need you.

Paz y amor