Choices

I imagine one of the reasons people cling to their hates so stubbornly is because they sense, once hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with pain

James Baldwin

Here’s a difficult question to ask yourself, but perhaps one of the most valuable gifts you could give yourself by asking, that is, if you’re actually willing to give yourself an honest answer. Who do you hate? Is there someone in your life that just makes you angry at the mention of their name? Maybe you would say that you hate the liberal protester that burned an American flag in the streets. “How dare they tread on our country’s flag!” Or perhaps you hate the guy flying that same flag from the back of his truck while he yells profanities at a family of immigrants on the side of the road. Do you hate people with brown skin? Or white skin? Or Asian or Palestinian? Christian or Muslim? Do you hate people who don’t have a home, or people who live in extravagant mansions? Be honest with yourself…..Who do you hate?

Now, ask yourself why. Why do you hate that person or “those” people? Do you even know them? Maybe you don’t want to label your biases as hate. I get it. We tend to give ourselves the benefit of the doubt and assume that our intentions are good, that we don’t have implicit biases against race or religion, politics or gender, or any other variable that differentiates us from the neighbor that we are supposed to love. But as we look around the world, and even around our own communities, hate runs rampant while love is reserved for only a select few that look like us, talk like us, vote like us, and generally agree with us on religion, philosophy, human rights, economics, government, you name it. We reserve the right to refuse love to anyone that doesn’t quite fit in our tiny box.

Now, back to the quote above from James Baldwin. Today is his birthday, by the way, so I was thinking about this quote from him. The part that struck me so much is, “once hate is gone”. This reminded me that just like love is a choice, hate is also a choice. We can choose to let it go, to let it die, and replace it with something far greater. We can choose to love instead. When we let go of the hate, we may need to deal with some discomfort, but that is all part of growing. There is beauty in that pain because it leads to life and brings peace both to your soul and to the world around you. If you’re struggling to let go of the hate, don’t stop trying. Hate runs deep and is a powerful foe but in the end, Love conquers all.