Expectations: Pt 1

March 21, 2015. The day lives in infamy in our household. My wife and kids remember it with full range of emotions; trauma and joy, confusion and relief. It was in a span of a few hours that afternoon that I had my own near-death experience. My family remembers it well.

We rented a minivan for a week-long vacation down to Monterey, California. Excitement filled that Dodge Caravan to the brim as we made an early morning stop for coffee on the way out of town. This was going to be an epic week of beach days, scenic hikes, and chillin by the pool. We weren’t in a hurry, so we made a leisurely trip down. None of us had any idea what was lay ahead in the coming hours. We cruised into our reserved hotel just before 6:00 pm. We would check in, get some good food recommendations from the front desk, and then go out for a nice dinner, or so we thought. The drama that followed could be straight out of a movie, although I’m not sure what the genre would be. Some weird mix of comedy, drama, soap opera, and mystery. I’d title it, “What not to do on vacation”.

“We don’t have a reservation under that name”. What? They didn’t have our reservation? It was spring break in Monterey. Every hotel was booked solid and we had no reservation. Long story short, when I booked the hotel on an unnamed travel site (that rhymes with encyclopedia), I used a digital coupon for a reduced rate. It turned out that the coupon was no longer valid, so rather than charge me the full rate or contact me to discuss the issue, my reservation was simply canceled. Here we were after a 7 hour drive with the entire family, tired from the day of driving, night was approaching, and we had no place to stay. After several phone calls trying to get help and getting nowhere, I absolutely lost it. I was frustrated, angry, and honestly a bit scared. What the hell was I supposed to do with my family? As I argued on the phone with customer service, managers, and anyone else I could talk to, my wife calmly drove the minivan looking for food, and ended up in an Emergency Room parking lot. She honestly thought I was going to have a heart attack. My near-death experience wasn’t a physical trauma, it was emotional. It was self-induced. And it taught me some good life lessons.

We ended up driving to a town about 30 minutes inland, got a room for the night, and then back to Monterey for the rest of our vacation. It all worked out, but I reflect back on that experience sometimes and wonder why I got so bent over that situation. The absolute worst case scenario would have been to turn around and drive back home. That would have sucked, but, really? That’s the worst? I think the issue was the expectations. Living under expectations can be absolutely suffocating and bring all kinds of emotional (and physical) stress on your life. Stay tuned to my next post where I’ll discuss managing expectations and finding the freedom intended for us. Until next time, just breathe and relax. It’s all going to be ok.